Becoming a Master of Self-Discipline

No human attribute can help you work towards attaining your goals faster than self-discipline. Self-discipline encompasses all other virtues – when you are in control of yourself, your thoughts and emotions, you’ll most likely be endowed with all other desirable virtues such as honesty, respect, diligence, integrity, and competence.

Mastering the art of self-discipline is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. It may not be a walk on the clouds, so knowing that you’re working your way to becoming a stronger and wiser person will get you motivated.

Self discipline WILL assist you in achieving your goals and dreams but it will require you to invest much of yourself – your time, money and energy which you’d otherwise put into other less productive things. You may not like the discomfort that may go along with this journey, but stick with it. This new journey you are about to embark upon will not always be easy, a self-disciplined person knows that. True focus and control of your own feelings and emotions are two things a disciplined individual faces with eager anticipation, because he knows the rewards are more pleasing in the end.

Get motivated – self-discipline will help you accomplish more things. Identify your “soft-addictions” and isolate them from the more productive actions. Here is a good book to help you recognize those time wasters.


There Must Be More Than This by Judith Wright


By taking the time to identify your “soft-addictions”, you are constantly aware of what distracts you or blocks your way to getting things done quickly and efficiently. Determine your work style; focus on your strengths and accommodate your weaknesses. A lot of people are not aware that little distractions will eventually cost them a lot of wasted time and effort when bundled altogether. Surely, everyone enjoys a little rest and relaxation, just be sure to recognize when your rest and relaxation time starts to get in the way of you moving forward.

Self-discipline will also require you to determine what is most important on the road to your destination. There will be times when you will have to say NO to a particular request, event or person in order to stay true to your journey. Successful people do not say yes to everything. In fact, they say no to a lot more than you think. They do this to have their efforts focused on a few, but essentially productive, actions. I haven’t met a happy or successful individual who claims he or she is a jack-of-all-trades. I am currently in “jack-of-all-trades rehab.” While I can do a bunch of things very well...I am focusing my efforts on those things that I intend to become a MASTER in; dropping the others along the way.

Stay focused and you will become a master of self-discipline in no time. When you shut out the non-essentials, you tend to stay on track. Also remember to take on one thing at a time. Most often, focus and discipline are marred by trying to do a lot of things at the same time. It is better to concentrate on something and do it well, than try to do everything and not be as efficient.

Self-discipline is best summed up by two guiding principles. First, commitment is serious stuff. If you make a commitment to someone or something, KEEP IT. Second, you are still learning, so if you “fail” along the way, don’t get discouraged. If you “fail” in a commitment, learn the lesson but don’t stress over it. Stand up, brush yourself off, pick up your plans and KEEP STEPPIN’!


An Important step on the journey to Self Discipline: Self-Respect

Becoming a master of self-discipline requires learning to love and respect YOU first. There can be no motivation to attaining self-discipline when you do not respect who YOU are in the first place. In most cases, individuals lacking in self-respect are too focused on helping others rather than attending to their own needs. Typically, such an act tends to mask some unpleasant concept an individual may have of himself, and helping others might be their way of self-medicating.

An individual with a healthy self-respect however, is one who still loves himself even in situations of masked as “failures” in their lives. Self-respect is quite different from self-esteem, the latter focusing more on holding oneself in high regard rather than simply liking or loving oneself unconditionally.

Self-respect is knowing WHO you REALLY are being at peace with yourself. It’s about knowing and trusting that the various aspects of your life are in place. It’s also being confident that you are not amiss at giving YOURSELF what you truly deserve. Everything you need, you already have. Recognize this and your concept of suffering will diminish.

Here are the various aspects of self that should be in place to assist you on your journey to self-discipline.

1. Your Body: Respect your body as it is the temple of your soul. Pay attention to the signals your body sends. Respond to it immediately when it tells you something is out of balance. Treat your body lavishly when there’s a need to. Consider getting into a regular exercise routine. I suggest yoga to attain balance of the body and the mind.

2. Your Mind: Think happy and positive thoughts. Fill you mind with engaging information by reading lots of books for the sheer joy of learning. Steer clear from pessimists and negative minds – they will pull you down. Immerse yourself in a productive exchange of thoughts and ideas with people from all walks of life. Engage in conversations with an intention to learn, not to prove yourself right. Pass time listening to uplifting music or audio books that inspires your heart and rests or reprograms your mind.

3. Your Soul: Stay anchored to the divine. It always feels good to stay connected to someone larger than we are. As we strive to achieve our goals and dreams, we might often miss remembering that there is a force that holds ultimate control over all things. Align your spirit with that of your Creator. Attend worship services if it’s part of your faith. Your soul needs consistent nourishment, oftentimes more than your body does. Meditate, pray and listen with your heart and mind so you make choices and decisions based on the greater good than on what simply feels good at a given time.

4. Your Health: People who respect themselves respect their health. Your body is designed to accomplish amazing feats when you take proper care of it. Keep your diet healthy and get plenty of rest and exercise. One of the best indicators of self respect and self-discipline is maintaining a healthy body and keeping the ideal weight for your body type. Avoid overindulgences and stay away from anything in excess.

5. Your Time: Oh my… it’s the most overused excuse when we don’t accomplish what we set out to achieve. We always blame it on the lack of time. Come to think of it, time is constant and predictable. We know there are 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. Nothing on earth will change that. It’s something we’re sure of but that doesn’t give us permission to postpone taking the time necessary on the journey to our destination. Respect yourself by balancing out time. Allot certain hours for work, family, leisure and personal time. Make space for every aspect of your life. Make a workable schedule so you can set your priorities and stick to them.

You can only live your life to the fullest by mastering the art of self-discipline. Self-discipline enables you to bring order into your life. It’s a whole new experience when every aspect of your life is in its place. Of course, you don’t control things in their entirety, but with self-discipline, you are able to CONQUER THYSELF so you can make better decisions that will lead to better outcomes.

Freedom from the Bondage of Your Past… How to Live the Life You Truly Deserve

There is no need to continue reliving the hurts and frustrations of your past over and over again. Heartaches may continue to weigh heavy on our spirits as we hang on to the pain, bitterness and disappointment of past hurts. However, please understand that you are not destined to a life of unending burden and conflict. You are destined to live a FULL and complete life complete with what you REALLY want!

All of us need to learn how to let go of past failures and hurts – we must not allow these experiences to have power over us and to continue eating us inside and stop us “dead in our tracks” from moving forward and conquering newer challenges. Doing so only keeps us in a “funky” mood, affects our attitude, our relationships, our behaviour on our jobs, and just about every area of our life. Now who wants to be around a crabby, pessimistic and negative soul?

While we may not always have the days we want, we always have the opportunity to attract the things in which we do.

Here are five simple yet essential steps that will move you closer to emotional freedom and a fuller life:

1. Talk about what’s eating away at you. A close family member or a trusted friend will always be ready to listen to your pains, fears or frustrations. Oftentimes, we only really need to let it out COMPLETELY– so cry, shout, walk, run on the treadmill, scream and wail your heart out. Releasing those bottled up emotions is healthy as long as you don’t hurt anyone, and a person that understands the value of releasing the negative energy so that you can move through it will still like you afterwards. They will understand that you wanting to “fork people up” is only a symptom of the negative energy that you have managed to accumulate inside and that when it’s all over, you will be back to yourself again. And until you release all these negative feelings from your mind, body and spirit, you really can’t move on.

2. Keep a journal. Writing is definitely a good outlet to release those bottled up emotions. It continues to be very therapeutic to me. A journal is yours, it is not something that you will be graded on or that you intend for anyone to read; writing in the journal allows you to speak your heart and mind without concern for how your words may affect others. Write from the heart and don’t concern yourself with logic, grammar or spelling rules. The important thing is to express exactly what you feel. You’ll be amazed at the relief it will give you once you’ve found the words to express your pains and frustrations. If you need to write as though you are speaking directly to the person…then get busy. The sooner you get it out, the better.

3. Ask for forgiveness and forgive those who caused you the pain. This doesn’t have to be an actual conversation but more of a symbolic spiritual nature if addressing that person directly is not a possibility or would cause more harm than good. Bear in mind that forgiveness is a decision, so you need not wait till the pain goes away for you to do so. Recall your spirit from the negative thoughts, guilt and shame that you may feel for whatever reason. Find closure within your heart and soul and stop letting those painful memories control you.

4. Seek guidance from someone with a caring heart; a person that is able to see you for who you really are without judgement. Please know that people in your immediate circle are not always the best choice to help you work through your healing. They can be subjective and too sympathetic, or you may find it difficult to open up unabatedly, so it is best that you get help from a life coach or therapist. There is relative anonymity when you work with a life coach that has lived through the experiences that you are going through and can speak to you from a place of having been there before. That person can help you push you out of your “pity party” or comfort zone and seek new perspectives that will move you forward.

5. Explore alternative remedies. There are a lot of therapies proven to work in changing unfavourable attitudes and adverse mindsets. The EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique for example, replicates the benefits of acupuncture without the needles to help you take control of your emotions. When you harbour negative feelings, this causes energy blockages in your entire system which inhibits their release and causes you to slow down. We know this as depression. With EFT, you will be trained to tap your fingertips on sensitive meridian points in the upper body as you verbally express feelings. The tapping sequence breaks the blocks caused by negative emotions, allowing you to finally release them and feel more energized.

Free yourself from the unnecessary and oftentimes, “perceived shame” from bondage of your past. You can let go and live on. Take the first step and talk it out with a life coach or therapist. He or she can work out a combined healing method with you so you can finally move on to a life of truly deserve. There are plenty of healing practices for you to add to your tool chest… won’t you invest in your healing today?

A New Year, A New Perspective and a New YOU!

Hello again! Here’s hoping you’ve started taking baby steps towards building your goals and setting your sights on your dreams for THIS year. . Let’s get back to how the most important person in the world can ride the waves and shoot for the stars in 2010. Yes, YOU are important – you are in this world for a very unique purpose...that only YOU can fulfil. Be sure of that, each one of us came into this world with a purpose...figuring out what that is can be so rewarding.

That’s exactly what I meant by the title ~ taking on a new perspective about YOURSELF. Realize that you are important and there’s a lot in this world in store for you. As Wayne Dyer would say...”If you change the way you look at things, the things you look AT will change.” If you think you’re in the dumps now, decide to take on a new way of thinking. Start by realizing that nothing is going to happen if you don’t pull yourself out. Negative thoughts beget negative actions, so stop seeing things on the minus side. The Universe does not know the difference between when you’re thinking negative and when you’re thinking positive...either way it will interpret your most dominant thoughts as requests – think negative...receive negative. There is always something positive even in the direst situations. Compassion, empathy, and kindness arise from tribulations and not from glittering achievements – and they make us better persons. If you are not experiencing some sort of “un-comfortability” you are not growing.

Train your sight and mind to perceive the silver linings. You’ll own one of life’s greatest talents if you are able to do this. You will light up a room with your presence because others will enjoy being around you. Your energy LIFTS their energy without you even having to lift a finger. Everyone likes to be with people who exude positive energy...even in the face of adversity and when you think positive you attract positive. Never fear going through the things that seem so difficult – simply laugh and learn from them, because they always have a way of teaching us valuable lessons. When you get so worked up about the possibility of something negative...you scare yourself right out of getting started in the first place.

Love and praise yourself and be your own cheerleader. If you think people will always be around to commend you, I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t work that way. . Everyone is busy fighting their own battles and in doing so they do not always allow them to recognize the successes of others. No need to sulk when people close to you miss out on your milestones. A confident individual does not rely on praises from others – he or she is completely satisfied with the achievements themselves and the praises come on as mere extras. They give themselves exactly what they need every morning before leaving the house. Whether it’s a moment of positive notes to themselves in their journals, written on their mirrors, stated out loud before they leave home, etc. It doesn’t matter ~ they have what they need before the day even begins. Anything extra is a bonus!!! Yes, it does feel great when people praise you, but if you feel they have to… you my friend may need a refresher course in self confidence!

The most successful people I’ve met went through a lot of bloopers and blunders, and I firmly believe that those experiences are what helped them to reach the top. . Experience is always the best teacher. It allows you to feel situations and not merely read or hear about them. Being afraid to make a mistake snuffs out your energy and excitement over new challenges. So get rid of that self-imposed notion that you have to be perfect. Fill your heart with eager anticipation instead so you can motivate yourself better and explore more areas for success.

Nothing and no one is responsible for the things that have NOT manifested in your life except YOURSELF. Stop blaming the world around you for what you think are your limitations. It’s all in your mind. If you find that difficult to do, learn from others who have done so. Be with people who have risen from their own ashes and rebuilt their lives. If you think I’m kidding...check out my personal story at www.anitacharlot.com

A positive attitude can set your life in motion beginning right now. This can bring amazing changes to your confidence, your home life, your job and your relationships. When you start to act and feel positive, you will send out good vibrations and attract more positive situations into your life. Good feelings are contagious, so step into your greatness now and go for what you want in life! If you determine that you need a little boost or an additional cheerleader on your side check out the services page on my website.

Getting In Touch With Your Truth at the Start of Another Year

Let’s admit it – most of our actions and decisions can sometimes be affected by our emotions. Emotions are what sets us apart from all other creation and our choices are not ruled by instinct or nature alone.
We may not be aware of this, but negative thoughts and emotions most often push us into making decisions that can be detrimental to several aspects in our lives. Family, work and social relationships can be severely affected by the options we take while under certain emotional conditions.

If we can only transform negative thoughts into positive energies that can enhance our decision-making processes, we can bring on revolutionary changes into our lives. It’s a simple and basic truth that when we change the way we look at ourselves, everything around us will change. Sometimes, we get stuck in a particular way of thinking because we simply refuse to invite change into our life. A favourite line of mine goes, “Everything is yellow to the jaundiced eye”. We fail to see the beauty of life and the exciting challenges it can bring because we refuse to view it from a different and better perspective ~ that of getting in touch with our truth.

The first thing you should do is stop living in the past. Every second that ticks away is history that cannot be relived. There’s nothing you can do about time that has passed. But there’s always something you can do about time that is still coming your way. Begin to live in the present and see what the future possibly holds for you! There’s something you can do about what lies ahead of you!

So how can you get in touch with your truth? It’s as simple as getting a better perspective about yourself! Believe in your capabilities and trust that you can do more that what you think you can! It simply needs you to take reasonable risks and challenges while maintaining a healthy sense of self-preservation. Life definitely improves for anyone who is willing to explore his potentials and conquer emerging challenges that come his way.

Here are some key points you can focus on to gain a better perspective of yourself and life in general:

1. Take control. Find out what upsets you and know what slows you down or leads you to negative behaviour. Then, from this specific incidents or situations, decide how you can turn it into a positive situation. Rather than dwell on what irritates you, focus on the good that it can bring out of you. It’s simply a matter of responding rather than reacting.
2. Like and love yourself. Nothing in life is going to progress if you don’t like the person you are with all the time – Yourself. Learn how to carry positive energies with you all the time. Smile, laugh, dance, and sing your favourite tune. Project all positive emotions and get rid of negative feelings. Nobody ever wants to be around a negative person.
3. Realize and accept that you cannot control how others think or feel, so focus your efforts on improving yourself rather than complain about how other people think and act. Get on with life and don’t sweat the small stuff. If other people get on your nerves, avoid them rather than trying to change them. Surround yourself with pleasant things, lovable people, and happy situations. You cannot control everything that happens around you. As Marianne Williamson always says, “If the train doesn’t stop at your station… it’s NOT YOUR TRAIN!”
4. Remember that YOU and YOU alone have the power to make yourself happy. It is good to do things to make other people happy, but always do them to make yourself happy, too. If you like making others happy, take pleasure in the act. Don’t do it and sulk later on. Don’t forget about yourself because you deserve to be happy. It’s not about selfishness; it’s about being true to yourself.

Get a great start for 2010! Begin by taking a new perspective of yourself. You are the most important person in your life and you definitely deserve great opportunities and challenges at the start of this new decade.

Next week, I will continue to write about how, apart from taking on a new perspective about yourself, a shift in the way you think can bring exciting new things into your life this year! Meanwhile, here’s wishing you a Prosperous New Year ahead. May you approach each day with renewed enthusiasm and eagerness in anticipation of newer challenges and possibilities.

Meanwhile, read on more uplifting materials I have written at: www.anitacharlot.com. Or you may explore exciting ways to meet exciting people this new year at www.5phasesofdating.com. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so that you can receive them when they are posted directly to your email address.

HUGS!